COVID Resource ā Are we becoming cruel and self-centered or just oblivious?

Letās face it, we are in a social crisis. Socially distancing is making us exhausted and LONELY. Whatās more, on a whole, we are becoming āless nice. Bullying, cruelty and insensitivity may actually be on the rise as we shelter behind our screens. We all witness how cruelty and callousness divides a community ā even if it is unintentional. Where we had seen a child burst into tears, or innately sense a rebuff, social distancing has taken away these vital, often non-verbal social exchanges.
What is Empathy?
Empathy is showing compassion, understanding another personās experience, and walking in someone elseās shoes. Ā Empathetic children are less likely to bully others. The ability to show empathy is a life skill- if someone in your office does not receive a promotion you are expected to read the room and hold back your joy that you were promoted, if someoneās pet passes away you are expected to express sorrow- and when someone is in distress to ignore that distress does not win friends or make you a prospect for future management roles.
Environment, genetics, social and cultural factors influence our ability to feel empathy.
Some children due to their own brain-based challenges do not read social cues, facial expressions and emotions, they donāt have the perspective or the self-awareness to see how others interpret their actions and behaviors.Ā These children, for whatever reason, do not understand how they come across.Ā Their intentions are good, but they donāt really know how to tune in and āwalk in the other personās shoes.ā
Teaching Empathy
Teaching empathy must involve not only fostering a community to promote empathy and kindness but also coaching children individually to help guide them toward greater understanding of what kind and empathetic behavior looks like. We can do this by modeling empathy and reinforcing it with all actions and messages children hear so they can learn to āwalk in someone elseās shoes.ā
3 Tips to Teach Empathy to Your Child
- Point out emotions and bring attention at the right time to the emotional experience of others and have conversations with your child about another personās experience. In the minivan or on the go, continue to ask him questions when his conversations present as forgetting other peopleās feelings. For example, What do you think is going on in your friendās life? What did you notice about her reaction to the situation?
- Collaboratively talk about your childās behavior when he is rude or lacks empathy and ask him to interpret how his behavior made you feel. Ask your child, How do you think I feel when you correct me? What did you mean to do?
- Guide children to look at what another personās situation or point of view may be ā rather than preaching to care about someone, help your child step into the shoes of his peer and ask your child questions to help him reflect on other peopleās state of mind. What do other people feel? What is the reaction to their behavior? What did the other peopleās facial expressions tell them about their feelings?
Some children naturally begin to demonstrate empathy as early as 12 months old; others struggle for whatever reason and may demonstrate rude and hurtful behavior. But the ability to understand other peopleās emotions and respond with kindness is a life skill essential to help children be part of any group throughout their lives.
Read more about empathy
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