Becoming a Social Spy: How to Read People Using Observational Learning

When I first read the title of Caroline Maguire's book, I expected it to be about social needs of young children. Was I wrong! This amazing book is helping me change the way I communicate with students of all ages. It also gives me scripts to practice in communicating with colleagues, friends, and relatives. I've been an educator for more than 50 years, and this is one book that has had an immediate impact on every aspect of my teaching. I wish Caroline Maguire was around when I was growing up. She uses visuals and catchy phrases to make the strategies memorable--from "Be a Social Spy" to "Taking a Social Right Turn." This is a well-researched guide book, and I recommend a hardback or paperback so you can add sticky notes and return to the drawings (that don't show up as well in the Kindle edition). My book is bristling with sticky-notes because there are so many useful tools.

Too often, the metrics of success we use to evaluate our children are focused on hard skills like reading or math. But what about learning how to have a conversation, sustain a relationship, or feel comfortable walking into a room filled with strangers? Kids today struggle with loneliness and anxiety because they are increasingly not equipped with the tools they need to feel comfortable in their own skin—but there is hope. Social skills can be taught and developed; what Caroline Maguire has done in this book is write the ultimate guide for parents to tutor kids of all ages on how to make friends and flourish in any social setting.

Caroline was our invited speaker for the NJ Child Study team meeting, which included various professionals from all over New Jersey dedicated to supporting Individualized Education Program (IEP) for students suspected of having educational disabilities. We recognized the importance of SEL, but it had not be uniformly incorporated into our district. Caroline’s insights and recommendations were invaluable; enabling us to integrate tailorable, concrete practices to help teachers support SEL instruction for students of all ages in organic and dynamic ways. We continue to seek out Caroline as our SEL expert.

While most may agree and understand that education is everyone’s responsibility, Maguire understands that not everyone may know how to educate. This is especially true in the area of social skills and the ability to establish healthy, caring relationships. In a webinar provided for our schools entitled, “Coaching Social Skills: Parents and Teachers with a Game Plan”, Maguire provides concrete examples on how schools and home can work together to support children in learning how to engage successfully in the world. You did provide this training which was available to 220 independent charters in the LAUSD SELPA with approximately 110,000 students enrolled and approximately 12,000 students with disabilities. During the pandemic trainings were not provided in person and we did not do a very good job of collecting feedback, for this I am sorry. Many schools were struggling with a variety of factors in transitioning back to in person learning. I hope to continue to share your work and information and do a better job (as we did before) with collecting feedback.