How To Improve Social Skills In The Workplace

Write it down! List your feelings, then put it aside for at least one hour, preferably overnight. Re-write it by taking out the emotions and replacing them with facts such as what happened, why it is wasn’t addressed appropriately and how to correct it. The lesson here is to remove emotions and avoid over-reactions.

Do you truly understand how you come across? Perspective into our own behavior and choices allows us to recognize social cues, to tune in and “walk in the other person’s shoes.”

Before interacting, ask yourself, “What impression do I mean to make? What makes me think this is so important? How can I say this without confrontation?” This allows you to consider others’ thoughts and how your behavior can negatively or positively affect others.

To help you build awareness and to create an image of positive social behavior, I want to introduce 2 concepts:

• Social Spy – observe people in different settings and note the social cues including, vocal volume, tone, eye contact, physical presence, interrupting, arguing, etc.
• Reading the Room – In every environment, there are expectations and unspoken rules. To present the best face to the world, you have to decipher those expectations by reading the room. Before entering a room or gathering, pause, observe and tune into the participants, energy and discussion before jumping in.

Although women are noted to be more emotional than men, interestingly, men are “allowed” to experience a wider range of emotion at work. My recommendation is to wait to have uncomfortable conversations when you can do it from a place of little emotion. I also recommend The Polite Pretend. As best as you are able, remain neutral and calmly “pretend” to be polite. Figure out polite ways to react when a conversation feels boring or is becoming heated. Be sure to also work on tone to avoid sounding dismissive and argumentative.

As a business owner, leader, employee, partner, and just a person in the world, uncomfortable conversations are a part of daily life. How we handle them makes the difference. Outline your intention and next steps prior to the conversation. I recommend you stay true to yourself and understand your boundaries. Remain firm. You are not responsible for other people’s feelings but kindness goes a long way. Approach each discussion with honesty and vulnerability.

Don’t let frustrations pile up. Casually ask, ‘Are you open to some quick feedback?’ By regularly addressing issues as they arise, you can nip in the bud conversations that may needlessly hurt others feelings.

Pre-frame tough conversations by demonstrating a shared goal. When you are on the same team, the feedback is generally heard from a place of openness.

Feedback can be better received in a culture of transparency. We can all improve, and when given in a manner that is kind and genuine, it helps us want to do the necessary work.

Start by highlighting the other person’s achievements and strengths before addressing what needs improvement. Use an appreciative tone. Be fair and straightforward. Don’t dwell on the past. Listen intently and keep questions open-ended to promote a reciprocal conversation. As in any relationship, be open to receiving feedback too.

In an effort to resolve the situation, share your interpretation. Ask if you are reading the situation appropriately, and how you can work together to resolve it and grow. Conversations that start with respect are game-changing for your business and your work relationships.

Empathy is an invaluable trait, especially when tough decisions, such as letting someone go, come into play. That said, business and investor needs may require tough decisions. In these situations, keep the business’ needs in mind while executing them in a kind and empathetic manner. Read more about empathy.