Why People With ADHD Are So Prone To Black-And-White Thinking
Good or bad, wrong or right. Having no in-between sets challenges for social situations. Here are eight ways to shift it.
“It was a total failure,” a client tells me about a situation. Now, listening to their story, what you wouldn’t get from this one statement is the situation is complex. It was full of many small wins, different perspectives, and not absolute. Like most events in our lives, it was nuanced and not the “total failure” my client felt it was.
So why was this situation so clear and simple to my client and not to me? The answer lies in “all or nothing” or “black and white thinking”. This kind of one-way street is common for people with ADHD and other neurodivergent brains, and you may have seen it in your thinking or your loved ones’ thinking before.
If this is you (or your child), please know that it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Once you understand this tendency, you can find a way to work with it.
Black-and-white thinking is not the same as stubbornness
Black and white thinkers often characterize things as good or bad, wrong or right, or express their point of view in absolutes like, “there is only one way to do/handle or act” in a situation. There is little gray or middle ground, and the fact most of life happens outside of the extremes is often lost on people with rigid thinking patterns.
If you are living with a black-and-white thinker, you might experience your child as “inflexible” or see your partner as stubborn or “set in their ways”. These characteristics are signs of an all-or-nothing mindset, and they present a specific set of challenges when trying to help your child or partner navigate social situations, make friends, or find peace in a new situation.