Q: My Teen Is Suffering Quarantine Fatigue. How Can I Lift the Dark Cloud?
Quarantine fatigue is real. If your teen with ADHD hates remote learning and social distancing, help them by reintroducing connection and enthusiasm in their lives — and by getting them evaluated if their behaviors are worrying.
Q: “My 16-year-old daughter is not coping well with the pandemic. Remote learning with ADHD hasn’t worked well and has even caused some emotional problems for her. She has had low self-esteem for years, but I worry that she might now be depressed. She had an active social life, but with social distancing, she seems lonely and down and unmotivated. Virtual friendships and texting have run their course. How can I help?”
Let me start with, “I hear you!”
Several months of quarantine have transformed all of us into unhealthy versions of our former selves. Remote learning is challenging for many teenagers, especially so for those with ADHD and low self-esteem. Their executive function skills — in the part of the brain that manages organization, motivation, self-monitoring, attention, future thinking, and prioritization — lag approximately three years behind those of neurotypical classmates. Remote or hybrid learning can and does cause mental fatigue.
It also sounds like your daughter’s social life is very important to her. In order to identify why being social is so important, I suggest that you do some digging. Ask her what she misses about “being social,” and how being with friends makes her feel. How is it different now? Do any parts of virtual connection bring joy? Her answers will identify her social values and help you determine how to stimulate good feelings and experiences during social distancing.