Q: “How Do I Avoid Oversharing on a First Date?”
“Whether it’s first dates or small talk with colleagues and acquaintances, set clear rules for yourself well ahead of time about what you will not discuss.”
Q: “How do I approach connecting with someone who is a virtual stranger? I’ll have to divulge some personal information on a date for sure, but how much is too much to share? And how do I save myself in the moment if I do end up talking about irrelevant or uncomfortable topics?”
Lead with Your Heart
Stick to talking about your passions. With an interest-based brain, you’ll be able to put your best foot forward — and see if you really zing with someone — when you focus on what excites you. If you’re into horror films, for example, share that with your date and see how they respond. You may learn that horror isn’t their thing, but true crime podcasts are. (And that’s how the conversation keeps going and stays somewhat on track.)
Establish Clear Boundaries
Whether regarding first dates or small talk with colleagues and acquaintances, set clear rules for yourself about what you will and will not discuss. Consider these topics off limits:
- body fluids and functions
- odor and hygiene
- sexual history
- money
- medical history
- traumatic events and family histories