How to Say the Right Thing at the Right Time
Often people with ADHD have a history of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Maybe we make a cringe-worthy comment we wish we could immediately take back. Other times we don’t know what to say and we just fumble along. Or we monologue and stumble into inappropriate comments. This history makes us afraid to make a social faux pas, causing us to be jittery in social interactions—and, unfortunately, prone to repeat all of this again.
If our mindset is that we must share and add to a conversation, we may not have time to think and filter appropriately. Here’s how to tame that desire to blurt out comments and speak too much.
- Get to know your past patterns.
With a little self-evaluation, ask yourself why you often say the wrong thing. When does this happen most frequently? Consider the following. Do you hate silence? Are you too vehement about certain topics? Does lack of food or sleep play a role? Do you have triggers or social anxiety that tend to trigger the situation? - Practice mindfulness.
Whether speaking to new or old friends, people with ADHD often struggle with being present, calm, and mindful. Listening, paying attention, reflecting, and responding to what the other person is saying can help you be more aware and avoid pitfalls such as blurting out. Social faux pas most frequently occur when we are dysregulated. Practice, every day for a week, trying to center yourself while engaging in conversations. Concentrate on being present. Listen intently, then reflect and respond thoughtfully. Engage in small daily, mindful exercises that help you remain centered and connected.