How to Be Your Child’s Social Emotional Learning Coach
Whether due to rejection sensitivity, poor self-awareness, social anxiety, or executive dysfunction, social challenges follow many children with ADHD as they grow. Parents can take a page from the social-emotional learning approach to guide their kids toward social success. Here are 6 ways to get started.
Social-emotional learning is more than just engaging in play, and it’s more than just making chitchat. It is learning designed to build a wide range of foundational skills — including emotional regulation, decision-making, self-awareness, and problem-solving — that help children make friends and successfully navigate social settings. While some kids develop these skills instinctively, many only master them with direct instruction — and, often, kids with ADHD fall into the latter category.
Difficulty with social skills can take many different forms. Maybe your child is exhibiting behavior that’s alienating peers, like interrupting or talking loudly. Maybe your child experiences social anxiety and has difficulty approaching new friends. Possibly your child has rejection sensitivity and feels as though peers don’t like them. If this sounds familiar, social-emotional learning could help.
The thing to know about the social skills needed to make friends is that they can’t be learned in a lecture. We need models. We need to witness the desired (or undesired) behavior in others, which makes it possible to notice it in ourselves. Then we use that information to rehearse new behaviors, self-correct, and try them in real social situations.
That’s where parents come in — serving in the critical role of coach.
Begin by having a fruitful series of conversations with your kids about their social landscape and their relationship to it. From there, roll up your sleeves and help your child learn, through models, planning and practice, the skills they need to make, and keep, friends. Here’s how to get started.