How Can I Read the Room When I Get so Overwhelmed?

Sensory overload can make social and workplace events draining and anxiety-provoking. People with ADHD may struggle to read the room – to understand the emotions and thoughts of the people present, and to respond in an appropriate way. When one or more of the five senses are triggered, the brain – alerted to more stimuli than it can process – sounds an alarm that danger is near. The body instinctually reads this signal as a threat and enters fight, flight or freeze mode.

How to Calm Sensory Overload When You Have ADHD

In this state, we often succumb to the sensory-onslaught. Voices, lights and crowds seem to close in on us. Our natural retaliation to this “attack” is to avoid certain situations, grow quiet, or flee the scene unexpectedly.  These escapes add to our feelings of guilt and shame.

5 Strategies to Overcome Sensory Overload:

1. Share your experiences – Your struggle may confuse others, but it is very real to you. Prepare in advance “go-to” phrases such as, “I can get overwhelmed in large gatherings. This is not the best environment for me, but I am trying.” Without sharing, others can’t support you.
2. Know your triggers – Identify the What, When, Where and with Whom you can get particularly triggered. Mindfully watch for reactions and look for events and settings that precede a fight, flight or freeze response. Consider how the circumstance made you feel to help you better forecast an upcoming ADHD trigger.
3. Propose another possibility – Rather than begrudgingly attending, why not propose an alternative plan or location? Once you understand your triggers and know that an environment or group of people is going to push your sensory buttons, perhaps it is not the best place to be social. Where else can you go together? Is there another activity that works? Weigh the benefits.
4. Take steps to protect yourself – If you must go somewhere that is a triggering, have a plan. Bombardment of sensory stimuli and the cascade that leads to fight, flight or freeze will make it hard to pay attention to social cues and to read the room. Ask a friend to walk in the doors with you. Bring earphones to lessen auditory triggers, choose seats out of the fray, and pick times with less traffic, noise and people to prevent overwhelm. Pick one conversation to follow rather than trying to follow the many conversations happening in your midst.
5. Engage in a pre-game – Parties, concerts, hallways or subway stations crushing with people can be full of competing sensory information. Identify calming techniques that help you avoid or lessen a tail spin. Before the event, practice techniques such as mindfulness and self-talk to center, reassure and calm your limbic system. Self-care such as hydration, sleep and nourishment can be beneficial too.

Our struggles to self-regulate and pay attention can induce sensory overload. When you’re not tuned in, sensory information can sneak up on you.

If you are still affected strongly even after employing these strategies, you may need to seek medical advice. There are treatments for sensory overload so don’t hesitate to bring this challenge up to a medical professional.

Sometimes you may struggle more than others, pat yourself on the back for any little wins you experience and take note of where and when you are less bombarded so you can find the right environment for you!

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Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., ACCG, PCC, is author of Why Will No One Play With Me?, winner of the Best Parenting and Family Book 2020 and the founder of ADDCA’s The Fundamentals of ADHD Coaching for Families. Follow her @AuthorCarolineM and download her free video “How to Tell a Tighter Story”