Q: “I’m a Flaky Friend. How Do I Break the Last-Minute-Cancel Cycle?”
Three questions to ask yourself before you turn down that invite, and other tips for managing social anxiety and rejection sensitive dysphoria so that you can maintain your commitments.
Q: “I have a bad track record of flaking on plans with friends. I’m enthusiastic about the plans at first, but nervousness, social anxiety, and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) get the better of me, and I cancel at the last minute. My friends, of course, get upset. And then the invites stop coming, which only makes me feel worse. How do I break this cycle?”
Isn’t it strange that, despite our desire to meet new people and maintain friendships, we still find ourselves turning down invites or outright canceling plans — self-sabotaging actions that can cost us friendships? I know. I’ve been there.
You don’t have to accept every invite. You don’t have to agree to be in uncomfortable environments that are simply too much for you. But turning down too many of them, especially key invites and events that are within your comfort level, can carry consequences.