Making Friends Requires Confidence … and that is tough for people with ADHD
Social confidence does not always come easily to people with ADHD. Making new friends, reaching out to people, and trying new things requires some level of confidence. Making jokes, chatting with people, or joining a new activity all depend on feeling confident enough to try. If you’re telling a joke, you have to start with the belief that the joke will land. You have to believe on some level that you are funny. And you have to believe that engaging with others will be beneficial and reciprocal.
A confident mindset is feeling comfortable in your own skin. It’s feeling that you are wanted, that you belong, and it’s feeling good about who you are and believing in your own abilities.
Feeling confident can feel like a heavy lift for many people, however. Adding ADHD to the mix can make it even more challenging because of all your memories and experiences of things “not going well.”
If this is your story, chances are you are missing the most important ingredients for confidence—belief in yourself and belief that everything can work out. Your sense of self-acceptance and belief in yourself has likely been diluted by the times when you didn’t feel accepted or you lacked belief in yourself.
This can happen in an instant. One look, comment, or misplaced remark can knock you off your game and push you right back into your cocoon where it’s easier to avoid things than face them. This is especially true when you’re not sure what to do to make things better.
Confidence is not actually about your abilities, it’s about your belief in your abilities.